An Unscheduled Reading, Part 2.
Continuing my blog from yesterday...
So part one of what Vince had told me was true. My
sister knew him and she knew his wife. I told my sister I had pages of notes
and that Vince kept me up until I promised to write it all down. I told her I
would send her the notes because maybe she could validate them for me or maybe
she could check with Susan and see if she was open to receiving the notes. (I
would never have presumed that someone who didn't ask for a reading was open to
the idea of messages from the other side.)
I sent the notes to my sister who sent them along to
Susan. What came from that was amazing confirmation and a later visit from
Vince, funny as ever, who let me know that he had shown me something that I
could do. That is, doing a reading when there wasn't anyone on this side asking
for it. The following are the notes, along with feedback from Susan that
verified the notes. Susan's feedback is marked with double asterisks.
Notes dated 2006:
I’m sending you everything, though I have no idea how
accurate it is… cuz this is kind of a weird way (but a good test) of doing it.
Freaking Vince kept me up for hours telling me jokes until I promised to write
this down.
There is a man, who gives his energy as very big, but
that’s not how I visualize him…. so he let me know with energy that he’s "very
big". I see him with brownish hair thinning especially around the forehead
area. Well, all over actually but he’s telling me "he’s still very good
looking despite the hair." He is totally happy in his life. It’s like
everything is right – a nice wife, a nice house, a nice family. He’s got a
great smile.
**confirmed : thinning
hair, perfect family, happy man.
He shows himself dressed in a grey tuxedo and with a
wedding cake. But, the wedding cake has a candle on top as if it is signifying
the anniversary of something. The candle sits n a small silver candle holder.
It is lit but no one blows it out. So it’s not for a birthday, it’s for an
anniversary. He’s just beaming and says, "Happy Anniversary" pointing
to the cake in a "wahlah" type gesture of "isn’t this great".
**Susan says that she
has always celebrated their anniversary that was in June and believes he was
acknowledging that.
He likes to laugh. In fact he laughs a lot and seems
to be very outgoing and happy. He likes going to parties. He likes telling
jokes or stories. I see him standing with other men and him telling stories. He
is gregarious; the life of the party.
**Confirmed
I see cancer. But the left side of my face goes numb,
especially in my eye, though it seems secondary to me, but it stays numb for
long periods of time.
**Cancer is confirmed.
Susan says that she has terrible migraines and they are exactly as I have
described the numb face and pain in my eye and that it is on the left side
He shows me a little girl, a swimming pool, and a lady
sitting by the side of the pool watching the little girl play. It’s his family
several years ago. It’s the backyard of a house with lounge chairs and the lady
wears a white light cover over her swimsuit. She likes to read. She doesn’t
seem to swim much, but rather takes dips. The little girl has some type of
floating toy that she plays in. She likes pink. Her room was or is pink.
** Confirmed: swimming
pool, little girl, mom reading, and taking "dips." The daughter's
room was pink when she was growing up.
This man likes to say, "roger that; copy that"
and he likes to fly. Last night I had the feeling that he liked small planes,
but today it’s more of an "I like to fly." I like airplanes. It’s
just like a statement----
**Vince was a
policeman.
I see a family vacation on a beach with very blue water.
I hear Hawaii, see surf boards and friends around and hear "the best time
of my life." It feels like a vacation that was a really memorable one.
**Confirmed: Vince and
his wife used to go to Hawaii every year with their friends
He shows me a daughter and the numbers 17, 24, 27. When
I ask him what he’s telling me, he jokes, "well it’s not a locker
combination." It feels like the numbers are leaps in ages of his daughter.
Significant ages though I can’t get what he wants me to know. It feels like these
are marriage and baby dates or significant dates for her. He keeps trying to
tell me something about the 27, but I don’t get what he wants. Okay, he says, "shh
about the 27 part", then laughs and says, "well, it’s already out
there".
**Susan confirmed that
their granddaughter was born on March 17. The 24th was the date he was
diagnosed with cancer and the 27th was the date his cancer had gone into
remission and they had celebrated.
He stops joking====
He tells Susan that he loves her and her devotion to
him means a lot. He appreciates her keeping pictures of him around. I see a
picture of him in a frame on the side of a bedroom night stand. The small table
looks like an oak one to me. I see a wedding photo. I see a picture of him in a
uniform, surrounded by plaques. It’s like he’s showing me he was very
successful in his career. I have the feeling of detective, but then he says, "copy
that" and shows me a patrol car, but he’s so funny I have no idea if he’s
joking about the detective part or the patrol part or if the "copy that"
is verifying that he was a detective. He says she’s a great mother and has done
the job of two with style and class. He sends her a kiss across the room as if
they were at a party and he is across the room from her and they catch eyes and
he raises his chin upwards and winks at her. Oh man, he loves her. And he steps
aside, though he says "it’s momentary." He is terribly funny and "alive."
**Confirmed that Susan
has pictures of Vince all over the house. Also confirmed: they were very much
in love and that he is terribly funny.
===========
Then there is a younger person here. She doesn’t seem
older to me, but rather like she died young. It feels like she "didn’t
have a full life" or she’s showing me her childhood, I’m not sure which.
So, I’ll just describe what I see:
I see two girls playing "clapping games"
(you know, like "Miss Mary Mack, Mack, Mack, all dressed in black, black,
black") Blonde hair, pony tails, wearing dresses, one yellow, one baby
blue. The baby blue one looks checkered.
The girls are sisters and play the clapping game
trying to use their names--- "silly Sally down in the valley" and
similar rhyming games. They play this clapping game a lot like they are close.
Sally’s name is easy to rhyme with and the other girl’s name is not so they go
back to "traditional" rhymes because the other girl says, "this
isn’t fair, nothing rhymes with my name very well". The girls seem to be
between 8-12. They seem to like each other.
**Susan confirms this
is her sister Sally. Sally died early 20’s, so the "not a full life"
was correct.
When I focus on the word “Sally” all I get is a little
blonde girl about 10-12ish. I hear a mom tell her not to "dilly dally"
and I see her going down concrete steps to play as the mother watches her
through a screen door. This girl really liked to rhyme---cuz I hear rhymes
again.
Vince butts in and says he can make a rhyme for
Susan’s name --- And I hear the sound track to Willy Wonka and the Chocolate
Factory and the Oompah Loompah’s sing, “Susan Petite, Susan Petite, Oh my gosh
she has mighty big feet." And Vince thinks he’s just pretty hysterical.
And he steps aside again.
Now, I see one of these girls as a teenager with blond
hair in a "flip" (like the 60’s hairstyle).
I also see a girl with a white sweater and a "poodle"
skirt – she has blond hair and a flip too; though this girl is older than the
first one and she is now in junior or high school and holding books in her
arms. This girl looks at boys and is very popular.
** Susan said they both had blonde hair and they grew up in the
50's.
So, it "feels" like this is showing me the
girl growing up…..
Now, I see a woman with cancer---well actually, I see
two women with cancer, one has ovarian/uterine/something like that, the other
it seems like is breast cancer, though that is not as strong. Michelle or a
name that starts with an M or sounds like this or
"Shelly" though “Michelle” seems to be
pretty strong and the Beatles title “Michelle, my Belle" starts playing in
my head.…
I feel like I’m in the 50or 60’s and she’s sitting on
a couch smoking – Virginia Slims or something sleek – and there’s a lady with
short hair watching I Love Lucy on the tv. This time it’s black and white. It
seems like she isn’t a career woman, but a stay at home mom. I have the feeling
she really should’ve stopped smoking, it led to health problems. To me, she
feels like she’s on a "slow burn" – not really happy. She’s married
but I don’t see a husband and it seems like this is one of the things she’s
annoyed at – like he’s busy working and she’s waiting at home with the kids—and
not terribly happy about it.
She seems very reserved. Kind of quiet and like she
holds things inside. Doesn’t like to let on to her problems. She’s thin and
blondish brown.
**Susan confirms that her Aunt Maybelle had a husband who was in the
Navy and he was deployed a lot. She died of ovarian cancer.
I see a young lady, brownish hair, long with bangs –
seems like age 12-14 in a light yellow chiffon dress. She’s watching something
– like a wedding.
**Susan confirms that
her sister Sally wore a yellow chiffon dress in Susan’s first wedding.
I see numbers again. Vince says I’m still messing it
up and he’s laughing. He’s terribly funny. Truly a happy and nice guy. I see
17, 24, 47. I see a combination lock but I sense that these are important ages
again. Ages when something significant happened and it has to do with the girl
in the yellow chiffon dress.
He’s saying something about a sergeant. A sergeant he
knows, name starts with a J or Juh sound. Jim, John, Joe, George. He’s
acknowledging this man, who is a sergeant saying, "he’s a good man"
and it seems like this man was at his funeral/service and is a friend. I hear "atta
boy, 10-4, and copy that." Then he cracks to me, "attaboy" isn’t
politically correct to say to a woman, but attaboy anyway.
**Susan confirmed that
Vince’s closest friend is John who was a Sergeant when Vince died. John has had
a hard time losing his friend.
I keep seeing Vince in a grey tuxedo, standing in a
room with a high ceiling. The walls and ceiling are wood – like paneling –
cedar or oak—but not cheap—more like a beautiful room finished in wood. A light
hangs down on a long chain, but it’s not a chandelier, it feels like a church.
**Susan says this
describes their wedding
I get a terrible headache on my left side, especially
by my eye. My face goes numb again –and it stays that way a long time.
**Susan confirmed her
migraines and these are the symptoms.
Vince says, "10-4 on the Betty Boop." He’s
so funny, I have no idea what this means but he wants this all to end with you
(Susan) laughing and smiling (and wiping tears from your eyes at the same
time). He sends you so much love that it is hard for me to contain it.
**Susan hasn’t
explained the Betty Boop thing.
And then he steps aside. And they are gone.
===============
As you can see, Susan and my sister were able to
confirm almost everything that I had written down in my notes during my reading
with Vince. Vince has visited me on other occasions, usually in the middle of
the night. One of those nights, I told him I was really tired and that he could
just visit me in the morning, to which he replied, "You can do it now. I'm
up, you're up, what's the problem?" And he laughed so hard that I had to
laugh too...
An Unscheduled Reading, Part I
Spirits don't wait for the day of a scheduled reading to begin sending me messages. Often they show up a day or more early! I don't mind, I've gotten used to it. Usually, I just tell them that they will have to wait until the appointed time for their reading. But then ... I sit down, listen carefully, and take notes. If for no other reason than to get some peace to myself from someone who really can't seem to wait! When the spirit is overly exuberant, I will sit down and write notes (or get up in the middle of the night as the case may be) just to get someone to calm down enough so I can sleep or take care of other things.
And sometimes I just am compelled to listen to the messages and write notes even if I don't have a scheduled reading. In that case, and it has happened many times, somewhere down the road a situation will occur where I will find the person that 'owns' the notes. I'll be able to let them know that their loved one had come through and I couldn't get them to leave me alone so I wrote everything down. It seemed odd at first, but now, if someone bugs me that much to write something down, I simply do it trusting that there is a reason and a way will be made to pass the message.
When I first started doing readings, I would get images of a long line of people. I didn't know what it meant and really didn't think a whole lot about it until it kept happening. I would be washing dishes, or working on the computer, or heaven forbid, trying to sleep, and I would see this long line of people standing quietly. They looked patient but seemed to want something. One day, I finally had an aha moment and ask if the line was from the spirit world and if these people waiting for me. The answer was a unanimous 'Yes!' followed by a man's voice of "oh duh, you caught on." This came from someone in the line who I had a strange sense of familiarity. I felt that I might know him, or he knew me, or was in some way connected.
This man stepped out of the line and started the conversation. He was tall and thin and very funny; and very persistent. He explained to me that I would know who he was if I asked my sister. Easy enough, I can do that. I tell the man that I will ask my sister about him if he gives me his name. He likes to joke and it took awhile to get through his comic act, but he tells me his name is Vince. He says he wants a reading, and I tell him that I can't give him a reading because there's no one here to give it to on this side. After all, it is the middle of the night and I don't have anyone scheduled for the next day, so I know he hasn't just shown up early for an appointment. Vince tells me that I should write down everything he has to say and that once I talk to my sister I'll know what to do with the notes. Frankly, I wanted to go to sleep. But Vince had other ideas. I finally got up and wrote down notes without knowing how in the world I would validate any of what I was writing and not sure if this was even possible. But, I figured if I wrote it all down and trusted what Vince was saying, it would all work out.
The next day I called my sister. I told her about the long line and the 'aha moment' and that these were people patiently waiting for readings. And then I told her that there was a man named Vince who wanted a reading and that I had to take notes but she would know what I was supposed to do next.
My sister, as I recall, yelled...... Vince! He's my friend Lori's husband!
To be continued, tomorrow ...
Preparing for a Reading
Once you schedule your reading and the day arrives, it's time for both of us to prepare. A little bit of which goes a long way to making the reading a success. Whether it's a phone reading or an in-person reading, your preparation is very easy!
Your job is to find a quiet place to relax and be open to what messages come through. Your biggest task is to avoid the pitfall of expectations, and welcome whoever comes forward to greet you. You can bring pictures or mementos to the reading though, unless you are asked to show them, it is best to keep them put away. I like to see the pictures and mementos after a reading. I find it wonderful when something a client has brought to a reading is shared with me. If your reading is a phone one, then you can sit in a room that you feel comfortable in and surround yourself with mementos. Even if you really want to hear from someone specific, you want to set that aside and just relax. This allows your loved ones to come through unrestrained, whenever they want and regardless of your surroundings. Just because you are sitting in your husband's favorite chair, with his picture sitting on the table, that doesn't mean he will be the first person to show up. In fact, there are no guarantees that someone will show up, but it does feel very good to be near things that belonged to those we love who have passed. If your reading is a phone reading, take the phone to a quiet place where you won't be disturbed or distracted.
As a Medium, part of my preparation is ongoing and an aspect of my lifestyle and part is special; something I do before each Reading. Each Medium has their own way of preparing, and each person has their own belief system - which is unique for each Medium. I don't believe there is any one right way to prepare just as I don't believe that there is only one way to give a reading. Some Mediums use Tarot cards, Runes, and the I Ching as part of a reading; others, including me, do not.
As part of my ongoing preparation, every day I spend a minimum of an hour in meditation. Meditation has many benefits including lowering your stress, helping you focus, and bringing you peace of mind. For me, meditation also permits me to relax and be open to the other side. Another part of my ongoing preparation is staying involved in my work by readings books and articles on topics that involve Mediumship, the afterlife, and other spiritual area. Reading on topics that are part of my work helps me stay focused. I love to practice with Runes and I throw the I Ching regularly for myself, which I find interesting and helpful for direction in my life.
I also do exercises now and again to keep my awareness heightened. I love to sit quietly and listen. Careful focused listening to the sounds in my environment keeps my auditory senses sharp. I will first notice what is closest, and then I relax and focus on sounds farther away. As an example, if I am doing the exercise outside, I will hear the neighbors in the backyard first, then birds, then a cat meowing somewhere in the neighborhood, then cars on a distant main road, then planes far away, and ambulances across town. I like to listen for sounds big and small, near and far. After I quietly listen, I then will switch to focusing on what I can see. When I move to the visual exercise, I not only look at the big picture surrounding me, but I also look at the details. If I am sitting outside for this exercise, I keep my eyes forward and look at everything in my view, and then I focus on the smaller things; the details. I notice the petals on the flowers, and the stems, and the small prickly parts on the stems and the pot they are in. I again try to notice, big and small, near and far. Finally, while keeping my head straight, I see what I can in my peripheral vision. I love this exercise and it keeps my visual senses sharp. My strong clairvoyant abilities have always been a lot of fun for me. I love the movies in my head, so the visual exercise is always something I enjoy, especially when expanding my peripheral vision. It's pretty cool when my kids say I have eyes in the back of my head, and I can say, well, yea, I actually have great peripheral vision allowing me to 'almost' see what's behind me. Well, okay, I enjoy all of my preparation, but there's something extra special about that one. Lastly, I sit quietly and 'feel' not only my body, but my surroundings. I will notice how my feet and legs feel and if I'm sitting in meditation pose, they usually feel stiff and scream to be straightened! Then I focus my attention on my stomach, back, torso and move to my hands, arms, and shoulders, and finish with my neck, head, and face which are almost always filled with tension. I have the bonus relaxing as I go through this exercise. I notice whether I am hot or cold, what the air around me feels like, how my hair feels resting on my forehead and shoulders. I try to feel as much as I can. Then I focus on what I smell or taste. Doing these exercises a few times a week keep my senses heightened and make it easier for me to tune in to what I see, hear, and feel when I do a reading.
About an hour before a Reading begins I will sit down and meditate for 30 minutes. This meditation is unique and only for preparing for Readings. I like certain music and certain smells at this time, and so I retreat to my meditation room that has an atmosphere of peacefulness. My meditation room is full of things that I love and that have meaning to me. I start my infuser with essential oils that I have combined to create scents that I love; I put on my music; and tune in to myself by relaxing and then open myself to the other side. As I relax, I always ask that the reading goes well for my client and that the messages are positive, loving, and for the client's higher good and in their best interest. I ask that only those people and messages that will benefit, help, and support the client come through. Because my son always shows up at this time, I tell him how happy I am that he came to see me and ask him to help me give the client the best reading possible. There are other guides that show up during this preparation time and I look forward to seeing them also, in my mind's eye, because they have been with me since my very first reading and I trust them to help me do a good job.
This 30 minute preparation time is very important to become focused and open to the spirit world. At this time I attain a most amazing feeling that I can only describe as bliss. When I move into the openness that allows me to speak with the other side, the world is a different place, where everything is peaceful with an exciting energy that resonates throughout my body. From that point forward until all the readings are done for the day, I live in a world that sees a bigger picture. I am able to be in a world that is happy and joyous and while I am doing my work and service of providing messages, I am also surrounded by love.
As each reading ends, I close off the session for that particular client, keeping the connection to my guides and the bubbling energy that I have created. I silently thank those who came through for my client and I thank my guides for supporting and helping me give validating messages. When the last reading of the day is completed, I am left with a great satisfaction in my heart -- for being given the opportunity to help others connect with their loved ones.
Is that my daughter making the lights flicker?
The energy of a spirit who has passed can be used in a variety of ways as signs and messages from those who love us. The tricky part sometimes is noticing or acknowledging those signs. Sometimes the temptation to disregard something or not is the difference between receiving a gift of love or missing an opportunity.
I've done many readings where I've been shown pictures falling, lights flickering on and off or rocking chairs moving, just to name a few. These are signs that have been given to my clients. Often when I bring up these things, the client will say, 'I thought that might be them!' or "I hoped that might be them!' They often will also say, 'I thought it might just be a coincidence so I ignored it.'
One of my favorite stories is when a young boy named Brandon came through to his mom. Brandon is a boy who had severe physical handicaps. In his case, he had to figure out how to communicate with his family while he was alive and now he was trying to communicate with his mom after he passed. April was desperate to know that her son was okay.
The first reading I gave April, I saw doors slamming, chairs rocking, and pictures moving or falling over. I also sensed that April saw and heard all of this and 'hoped' it was Brandon but would shut it off almost as quickly as it happened as 'coincidence.'
So, it was a 'coincidence' when she sat out on the front porch and talked out loud to Brandon and the chair next to her started rocking. Or when she sat on the sofa at night writing in her journal about how much she missed her son, and the lights would flicker on and off, or she would be thinking about him and the door to his bedroom would shut with a bang.
April wanted validation that her son was okay, and the validation was right there with her. All she had to do was accept and acknowledge it.
During the phone reading, I told her Brandon was in the room with her moving something or had moved something a few minutes before the reading started. She laughed and said that right when I started talking about needing to acknowledge the messages instead of writing them off as 'coincidence' that a picture of him had just fallen off the table in the living room. She was nowhere near the table during our call and no one else was home.
Brandon had done about as much as he could to show his mom he was around her - and once she accepted that these were signs and messages from her son, she found a great deal of peace. More importantly, as we talked, she said she could feel Brandon near her and I explained that is exactly what he had been hoping for.
I told her when the lights flickered, or the chair rocked, or the door inexplicably closed to say, "Hi Brandon!' and she would feel his presence and 'know' he was there.
A few days ago, I did a reading for a young woman who had lost a friend. I told her that I sensed the friend spent a lot of time at her house trying to convey that he was okay. His way of trying to get through to her was by playing with the lights. Excitedly, she said that every time she talked to her mom or other friends about her upcoming reading, 'weird things happened' - a light that had been burned out came on. The TV turned itself on and then off again and the light on the Christmas tree came on when none of the other lights were on. She said she was a little nervous when this kept happening throughout the week but then she also was excited when she understood that this was her friend's way of telling her that he would be at the reading. And sure enough, he came through loud and clear, to let her know that he was okay and everything she had tried to do for him while he was alive was appreciated.
My own experience is that of my son who consistently changes the seats in my sister's car. My son was always going to have a 'fancy car' and so it wasn't a big surprise when I would often feel his presence with me when I was in my sister's Mercedes. What was a surprise is the many times that I would move the seat up and arrange the back just the way I wanted it, only to come back out of a store to find my seat pushed all the way back and reclining as if someone was relaxing in the car! Despite my own knowledge and acceptance of signs, the first few times, I thought maybe I had somehow pushed the seat back or something had happened to the adjustment. But it became obvious that it wasn't me or a malfunction in the seat when it happened not only to my seat, but when I wasn't with my sister, she too would often come out and find the driver's seat 'adjusted' to fit the legs of a young man who might be stretching out enjoying her car. We laugh when we come out of a store to find the seat adjusted and while I miss him terribly, it is also a great comfort to know that he hangs out with me wherever I go.
Those on the other side work hard to let us know that they are okay. These are some of the ways that they let us know that they are near us. You might find that when you acknowledge them in this way, you will start to see more signs because you are now more aware. Awareness creates more opportunities. Acknowledging the signs and say 'hi' to those who are sending the messages will bring your heart joy and validate the presence of your loved ones.
Why can’t you tell me?
A psychic is not all knowing. I believe that the messages we are given are for a purpose. If a certain message isn’t intended for us at the time, we won’t receive it. A psychic medium is passed messages and information to, first and foremost, give affirmation that our loved ones live on. Sometimes a client will want very specific information. In fact, there have been occasions when a client has demanded specific information that I was not able to provide. This is very frustrating when it happens because I strive to provide as much evidential information as I can and being able to tell someone something that they specifically want is an incredible affirmation. In addition, it is also not always possible - and in fact, it is more often than not that when a client is demanding something specific, that the reading turns sour and ends in a less than satisfying way for all involved.
I had a reading with a couple who had lost one of their three sons. I could tell from the very beginning that the reading was going to be difficult. It was also one of my early readings, which at that time; I had not realized that sometimes it's best to tell someone that I will end a reading if there isn't much cooperation.
The start of the reading had to do with the tension between the two parents about the loss of their son. Part of it was that the mother was doing better than the father was, and the father wanted answers to questions. Asking to have some answers if fine, but demanding that I repeat specific things that happened and specific comments that were said is not. Their son wanted to show them that he was okay and that he understood the tension and fighting that was going on in the home due to the deep sadness and his father's depression.
Early in the reading, I established that the family was involved in motorcycle riding/racing and spent a lot of time in the desert. The motorcycle that I saw was orange and had the number 9 on the front. The father confirmed that this was his youngest son's bike. He felt though that this information, along with other validation, was not 'proof' that his middle son was present and bringing forth information. What the father really wanted was for me to tell him exactly what was said at a party before his son died. While I strive to bring forth as much evidential information as I can, I cannot force a spirit to tell me something and I could not respond to the father's request, as he demanded. I was able to describe the night that he was speaking about -- some sort of a Luau type of event that was outside with Tikki lights, a pool, and a BBQ. In spite of my repeatedly asking the son what it was he said to his father that night, I could not find the information. I was frustrated at the father's continued insistence that the only proof of his son's life after death was if I could provide what he demanded. And it was impossible to get the father to back off of his demands which was causing the information that was coming through to be very difficult and tiring for me. His wife sat quietly by and only on occasion would she say that I had given so much other information that it was obvious her son was okay. But the dad even argued that I was wrong with the cause of death, even though I said he died of a heart attack, the father insisted he died in surgery. Insisting that the son died of a heart attack and that it did not matter what he was having the surgery for, that's not the cause of the death, the mother finally explained he was having his gall bladder removed and his heart stopped during surgery.
The father continued his pressure that he wanted me to tell him verbatim what he and his son had discussed the night of the party. Despite asking his son the question many times, the message I got back was that the 'message' was that he was okay on the other side and that the parents needed to work through their issues because there were more critical problems than what was shared between a father and son at a BBQ. The mother was very ill and this was much more urgent to the son. His desire that the parents try to find some sort of understanding and open up to each other was more important to him and that was what he had tried to convey, in-between the father's demands of me. I felt like the father had missed the opportunity presented to him and it was very hard to explain that while I am a Medium, and psychic, if their son did not want me to know something, I would not know it. Moreover, no amount of pressuring me would change that. I asked Sean many times why he wouldn't tell me what his father wanted -- after all, if I could say what it is he wanted, then wouldn't that be best for his dad? Sean would always shake his head and say, 'it's not about what we said at the party - it's about the fact my parents need to make some changes, address some issues, and be prepared for what was going to take place.'
The reading was very difficult and one of the most frustrating I have done. I felt sorry for the father because he said that even though I gave him a lot of evidence, I had failed. When I explained to him that it was not my failure because I am only the messenger, he only stated that he did not think I had proven his son was on the other side. I also felt sorry for the mother because we spent so much time on the father's demands that I didn't get to give her more messages from her son which I think would have been beneficial in their healing.
In the coming years, when his wife's cancer continued to progress, and I could see that she would go on a cruise, struggle to make it through one more Christmas, and then pass the following September, it was difficult. I knew that I would not be able to pass any information to him when his wife passed. Instead, I provided information to his daughter in law so that at some point in time, when her mother in law passed, she would have enough information to know that only Sean could have told me the things I knew. When she died on a lovely fall September day, she showed herself to me at my sister's retirement luncheon. Within minutes, her oldest son and daughter-in-law arrived to join the party and I knew for sure that Sharon was on the other side with Sean. Her daughter in law confirmed the cruise, the fight to make it through a Christmas, and the fact she had died just a week before my sister's retirement luncheon.
I have had some other very difficult readings that I wish I could have given a client something they demanded. It was a learning curve for me to be able to stop a reading and say that I would not be able to go any further. When a spirit chooses not to share something, there is no way I am going to be able to get it out of them. When a client becomes difficult, I now will simply stop the reading. It's not my loss - it's theirs. And it's not my reading either.
I don’t do simple
I think every Medium has a role to play in when it comes to the messages we receive, why certain people choose a certain Medium for a reading, and what type of Medium we are meant to be. When I first started doing readings, I realized right away that "I don't do simple."
Like most Mediums, I did some practice work with familiar and friendly people before moving on to doing readings for total strangers. My first reading with someone unknown to me was a lovely lady aptly named Lily.
Being new to this work and being very nervous, all I could think about was ‘what if nothing comes out?’ or ‘what if something comes out and it’s not correct?’ My mind was spinning as fast as it could go but I decided to go ahead and take this next step. I decided that something was guiding me to move into this work and that I wouldn't fail.
The first time Lily called to arrange a time to meet; the nerves in my stomach were just a huge jumble. I didn’t return the phone call for several hours because I was so nervous and allowed self-doubt to creep in. Finally, I decided to quit stalling and I called her back and made arrangements.
As I drove to her apartment, I was excited, scared, nervous, and full of anticipation. The thoughts of nothing coming out, nothing being correct, meeting someone new and actually doing a reading for them cluttered my thought process to the point I got lost.
We each sat in a straight backed dining room chair and I remember feeling very strange because I realized briefly that I had no idea how to start exactly. So, I decided to take her hand, breathe deeply and see what happened. At first, I could feel myself fighting too much. I was trying too hard and I had to start telling myself to relax and just let things go until I started seeing the pictures in my head. Sure enough, it was within a few minutes that pictures started forming and I told Lily, ‘okay, since I’ve never done this before, I’m just going to tell you everything I see, everything I hear, and we’ll attempt to make sense of it all later.’ She agreed.
I kept my promise to myself and Lily and just started describing what I saw---and so this narrative stops here and I will replay the reading, writing it just as I saw it.
I see a person in a river, flailing. It’s a girl, no it’s a boy about 14-15. There’s a girl standing on the side of the river very upset and wet. She’s showing me the person in the river, and I believe it is her brother. She went in to get him but couldn’t so she’s crawled back out and he’s still there. She’s very scared. I’m seeing letters. It starts with a G and then there’s an I-N-N-I-E. The G was big and I knew it was the first letter of the girl’s name. I felt like I was missing something, but I couldn’t figure it out. Ginnie made sense, so I left it at that. Her name is like Ginny, but not exactly, but that’s what I get. I’m not sure what the name is exactly. She’s younger than the boy in the river. She’s maybe 12-13.
Now I see people coming to the river. It’s a crowd of people led by a man. And he’s mad. He goes in and gets the boy out of the river and starts yelling at him. He’s mad because he’s telling the boy that he could’ve cost his sister’s life doing this. He’s scared and upset, but he’s really mad too. So, they show me this boy in trouble in the water and saved by this man, who I think might be his dad, but I’m not sure. Mostly, there’s anger that the girl could’ve drowned because of what the boy did.
Now, we’re taking ‘a leap’. I mean, it felt just like that. It felt like this was an indication of ,’okay, now we’re jumping ahead in time and this next scene is not the same timeframe as the first one.’ But the boy and the girl have a connection.
The next scene has a woman sitting off to the side in a wooden chair. She is on the other side, I was certain of that. She looked broken and frail and wearing gray nondescript dress. She was sad and gave the impression that she had failed in life, had failed do stand up for herself and others. I thought she was observing this scene, so I described the woman to Lily. The scene is of a little girl with blond pigtails sitting at a table. She had a little dress on that had yellow flowers, daisies perhaps. She is looking down at this big book in front of her. It’s a big wooden dining room table and she’s got a book in front of her and she’s kicking her feet, sitting there thumbing the edges of the book. She looks scared or uncomfortable. (this is where I paused in the reading because this dark lingering feeling came over me and I was unsure of what was going on. I decided to wait and see what the pictures were before saying anything. And then I *really* paused while I tried to figure out exactly how to say all of it). The little girl gives me the feeling that she’s stalling. She doesn’t want to read the book or do the homework. Let me see if I can figure out what the book is. It’s homework, no, no, Oh—it’s a bible. She’s sitting at the dining room table with a bible. Now there’s a man in the room; a big man. A really big man and he comes over to her and says, ‘get your bible studies done. It’s Sunday and you know where we go on Sundays’. (My heart sank because the mood in the room was foreboding and I knew that this was sexual abuse, and I’m sitting there thinking ‘I can’t say this!’ and then I’m thinking ‘okay, HOW am I going to say this?’ And then another thought flashed ‘you don’t even know this woman and you are about to talk to her about sexual abuse. What are you thinking?’ So after what seemed like eternity of arguing in my own head about what I was going to do, I said, ‘Um, Lily, someone in your family has been abused.’
She acknowledged that she had been abused by a neighbor. And I told her, ‘no, this is not you and it is not a neighbor. This is someone related to you, but the little girl is not you.’
She replied, ‘well, he also abused my younger sister.’
‘No, this is not your younger sister. This is current. ‘
I went back to the scene in front of me. The mother figure that had been sitting on the side in a chair, broken down from frailty and lack of courage, sat and watched as I described the man. She did not object to what I was saying, but rather giving me encouragement and I explained to Lily;
The mother figure is saying that she stood by before and did nothing. In fact, she died without ever standing up and she is not going to let that happen again. She is not going to sit by and let more children be abused. She is telling me that this will ‘blow a hole’ in the family, but she is going to do it. For once, she is going to find the courage to stop the abuse.
Lily says she thinks the woman is her mother, and I agree that the mother is saying yes.
Then Lily explains that when she went to her mother about the neighbor abusing her, the mother didn’t believe her and wouldn’t take any steps at all to stop the abuse. But I still have this nagging feeling that we are not talking about Lily here, we are talking about something going on right now and I tell this to Lily and go back to the picture.
The man is big, really big. Tall and wide. He has a big belly and he’s wearing a maroon sweater. (I am at this moment struck with how well I am doing, despite the story I am telling. I see the man so clearly and I see the sweater, the belly, the size. It is as if the scene is happening right before my very eyes and I am all of a sudden overwhelmed with the idea that ‘I can do this!’ )
Now there is another ‘leap’ in time. The scene changes and now the man is older, but he is the same man, I am sure of it. He is still wearing that maroon sweater, which I decide helps keep me knowing that we are talking about the same person. So I am thinking in my head, but never did ask, that this man related to Lily had abused little girls when Lily was growing up. The scene was showing me that the man had done this before, and now we leapt into the present and it felt so obvious to me that we were in the present. It was another realization that I understood the ‘leaps in time’ and the sequences.
I explain to Lily: The boy in the river was the man standing over the little girl at the table, and now he was standing in a room again.
The mother figure took the leap too. She was off to my left side again, sitting in her chair frail and worn-looking. This is when I realized that she was telling the story, but she was doing it in an in-active sort of way. She was showing me scenes and I was describing them to Lily and she still did not have the courage to just stand up and tell me the story, but at least she was doing what she felt compelled to do. It seemed as though she apologized to me for being weak. She felt bad for being weak and she knew she had let down others, especially Lily, but this time it was too much for her and so she finally was going to step up to the plate. I told her it was good and I would do my job by continuing to tell Lily everything I saw in spite of how hard this all was.
And then my heart sank again. And I knew where we were going and that I had to keep talking. There was an internal argument where I wanted to stop, but the mother figure told me I’d made a deal and I had to follow through. So I continue describing to Lily.
I see this man standing and he is big and tall. He is very large. He is the same man from the earlier scene. In fact, we are taking a leap back. It’s like their showing me, yes, this is the same man, just years later. Let me see if there is something else I am supposed to pick up from this leap backward. No, I think it was just to confirm to me that we are with the same person.
Now, I see three children. The children are below the man, like at his feet, but it is just I think to show me that this man is ‘over them’ That he is their grandfather. (I know this is right as soon as I think it.) One is a baby, young like maybe 1 or 2. One is a boy, 7-8, red hair, cute little thing, very sweet. And the third is a little girl 4-5 with blond pigtails, much like the girl in the earlier scene. She’s got a little yellow dress one with flowers. They’re all very cute, and their siblings. Lily, how many grandchildren do you have? (She replies: 3). (My heart is struggling with my head. I see what is going on and I can’t believe I have to say all of this). Umm Lily, the man is abusing the children. The woman is telling me that someone has to stop him. The baby is still safe, but he is abusing the boy and the little girl.
Lily tells me that perhaps it is her son. She then explains that her son is currently in prison for abusing his niece and that it is getting close to time for him to be released. She says that t she is concerned about the grandchildren and she wonders if this man is actually her son, not her husband.
So, another question I ask in my head to the woman. ‘Is this Lily’s son or husband?’ And I knew it was the husband.
I tell Lily, no, the son is definitely a bad person, but this is not the son and I describe this huge man again. Lily tells me that her son is also very overweight, very large and could I try to be sure. So I ask again and I get back that this is not the son. This is an older man. And I tell this to Lily. (All the while, my emotions are all over the place. I don’t even know this woman. At the very least I have uncovered her own abuse, and that of her sister. At the very worst, I am telling her that her husband is abusing her grandchildren and she needs to know. I can’t believe that this is my first reading and I sit there momentarily thinking, ‘geez, I can’t believe this is my first reading.)
I continue describing the scene: I see a woman, mid-40’s and she’s talking to the man who is abusing the children. She’s telling him that she knows and that she is going to blow the whole family apart because she’s going to tell. (The woman is mad and at first I thought it might be the daughter, the mother of these children, but then I didn’t think so. I never quite could figure out who it was, but it is someone related to Lily, perhaps a sister.) (Lily asks me if this is her and I don’t think so. It seems like it is someone related to her, but not her. Then she asks me if she had known about the abuse but sat by and did nothing. I ask that question and I am assured that no, Lily did not know about the abuse. She had no role in this other than the mother-figure has decided it is time to stand up and do something and Lily’s role in all this is that it is her grandchildren and they need protection. Lily seems relieved to know that she did not unwittingly ‘allow’ it to happen. I feel so bad for her).
Now, I get the feeling we are coming to an end. It feels similar to when I have channeled spirits and done readings for friends. I am so surprised by this, because all I have done is tell this story about abuse of grandchildren by a husband to this poor woman. As I’m sitting there kinda trying to figure out if this is really done, the woman that has been in the chair actually stands up, looks right at me and said, “And you thought you were coming here to do something fun!’ So, I ask her, “Is this it? Aren’t you going to give her anything else?” And the woman replies, “No! I don’t want anything to detract from this message. This is so important.’
And it was done, and I knew it. I opened my eyes and was amazed at what had happened. I had done my first reading with a stranger, and it wasn’t a fluff job, but rather one of the hardest subjects I could’ve imagined.
Lily and I sat there for a while talking. She explained that she had suspected her husband might be abusing the children, but wasn’t sure and didn’t know how to find out. She said she didn’t want to believe it and so she kept trying to push it out of her mind. She also told me that her husband always called her Gwennie because her real name was Gwen. She was named after an aunt. I realized the name I was getting at the beginning of the reading was Gwennie, and that made sense because I knew I didn’t quite have it right, but couldn’t figure out what was missing. I asked her if I could see a picture of her husband. She brought one out and I said, ‘no, I want a recent one.’ I had no idea how I knew it wasn’t recent, but I was right. She went and got another one, and it was the man that I had described. It turns out that her husband is 6’4” and very large with a big belly. She had bought him a maroon sweater not long before the reading. Then she said, come here, I want to show you something else. She walked me over to some family portraits and there were these 3 little kids exactly as I described. I asked her their ages and each of them fell within the range I had given her. The little boy had red hair and the picture of the little girl was with blond pig tails. I was saddened, horrified, and joyous all at the same time. I am so frightened for these children. Lily explained to me that after she left her husband, he got his daughter to move in with him and she brought her three children. Those kids whose pictures hung on the wall. The grandfather had decided to take them out of daycare and was their primary caregiver. Lily and I talked for a long while and she showed me a picture of her son, still hoping that it was the person I had seen. I held his picture, and though I knew he was evil, it wasn’t him. As I picked up the recent picture of her husband, it gave an energy through my fingers that told me this was the man. I apologized for bringing such horrible news, especially being a stranger, and especially since she had agreed to let me do the reading as a favor to a mutual friend. As I left, Lily gave me a hug and told me not to worry. She said, ‘It’s all about the children, isn’t it? And they’ll be okay because of you.’
Animals are Spirits too
It's happened on more than one occasion that animals have come through in readings. But, the most memorable one for me was the first time that it happened. In looking back, it shouldn't have been a surprise since all living creatures have a soul that passes to the other side, but I still marvel at the first time an animal spirit came through in a reading for me.
A lovely lady named Lydia came with some friends and coworkers for a reading. They decided that they would do individual readings instead of a group one so that each person could have the time to themselves. As Lydia sat down for her reading, I sensed a lot of pain surrounding her home life. Her relationships with her family were stressed and the father of her children, in particular, had significant issues. The information that was coming through had started out as a great reading with a lot of validation right from the start. What bothered me though was I was struggling to figure out 'who' exactly was providing all of the information. I couldn't quite tell the relationship of the person coming through. After a short time, I had to sit back and try to sort it out as I was at a point in the reading where I clearly felt I was missing something and I wanted to give all of the messages and information to Lydia that she deserved in her reading.
After telling Lydia that I was confused about who was bringing the information through and telling her I needed to just sit still quietly for a few moments, I saw the image of a dog. Not just any dog, but a dark brown, what I called as a kid, a 'wiener dog.' I'm not much of a dog person, so this sweet little dog kindly showed me exactly the image of one of my great-aunt's dogs to help me figure out that this messenger was not a human spirit. As the image became so strong visually, I was a bit uncomfortable as I realized that I was pretty sure it was a dog bringing through the messages. Since this was my first reading with an animal coming through in this manner, it took a leap of faith to open my eyes back up and say to Lydia, "I see a dog. A small dark brown wiener dog. And that's who is talking to me.' The tears that flowed from Lydia's eyes confirmed everything. I explained to her that I had never had a dog come through in that way before and apologized for missing that at the beginning of the reading. I explained to her that the dog had felt like a person, so real, so close, so human rather than a pet.
Lydia had acknowledged the accuracy of the family information that was brought forward in the first part of the reading, and also said she knew that it was all very important and that she had some significant issues in her life that she needed to address. But, after I told her that it was her beloved pet that was providing the information, Lydia told me that all she had hoped for was to somehow know that her little dog was doing okay. With this acknowledgement from Lydia, and my realization that a dog was trying to get through to his mom, the reading went to a whole different level.
The dog showed me that he and Lydia would sit on the couch together at night, alone, due to the lack of communication in the family, watching movies. I saw that she still had his water dish out and told her that her little dog came to get drinks from the bowl, which she acknowledged the water disappeared as if he had been there drinking it. She also still had his little bed next to hers in the bedroom and I told her that he had been in the room trying to comfort her. She said she had felt her dog several times, but thought perhaps she was imagining it. Through the reading, I was able to validate that her dog was indeed around her, in the house, a lot of the time. He was trying to comfort her as she missed her friend so much.
Her dog also wanted her to know that in order for her to move forward with her grief, she needed to put the bed and water bowls away. He told her it would b e okay and that she would know he was with her when the blanket on the sofa fell off the back of the sofa, which she said also acknowledged was there and she pulled it over her when she sat on the sofa at night, missing her beloved pet. Lydia's little dog let her know that over time, she would heal enough to be able to bring home another pet and that it would be okay with him when she did that. She had told me that she had missed him so much but she was so unsure of getting another dog because she didn't know if it would be 'okay.' The reading closed out with more fresh tears as Lydia asked if I would tell him she loved him and I told her that her little dog already knew that -- he was sitting right in the room with us as the reading was conducted. Lydia's deep love for her pet was touching. My first reading with a pet as the messenger was interesting and showed me that whether it is our mother, father, children, other relatives, or our beloved pets that are on the other side, Love Lives On.
Understanding Why
It is difficult for us to understand and to come to terms with a death in our circle of friends and family. Because of this difficulty some of my most emotional readings are those where the client has recently experienced the death of someone close and is expecting to resolve painful issues.
When Bryce's son committed suicide and came to me for a reading, it was one of the most difficult, heart rending readings I have done. The devastation and loss weren't the only things he was dealing with. Guilt, trauma, and confusion were some of the other issues he had. He felt, as a father, that he should have been able to protect his son. He was so confused because he had no idea that his son would even consider taking his own life. And then there was guilt about not knowing something was wrong, the resulting soul searching ( I could have fixed this if I knew ... I should have known ...) that surrounds and envelopes you when you feel responsible for something that you had no control over, and the trauma of losing your child.
It had been about three months since sixteen year old Jack had taken a gun out of his mother's bureau drawer and shot himself in the back yard. I had offered to do a reading for Bryce to try and help alleviate some of the sadness and depression he felt in not knowing what had truly happened that horrible day, or why his son had decided to end his own life. When I first met him, Bryce talked about his confusion and guilt. Because of the situation, I understood the 2nd guessing and the need to go over the days leading up to his death, the day of, and all the trauma that he, his wife, and his remaining son were going through. My heart ached as a mother for him, and most especially because I already knew the long road that he was going to be on as a parent who had lost his son. My goal was to help Bryce in connecting with his son and hopefully get some answers that would help him with the grief.
Jack came through very strongly and I immediately knew it was him when I began the reading for Bryce. He wanted to comfort and help his grieving father. During the reading I was able to validate for Bryce that his son lived on. (Validation is the process of demonstrating knowledge of something pertaining to the loved one that the medium couldn't know.) The validation was brought about by confirming the details about the day his son died including the location of the gun and the fact that he wasn't at his home, but that of his mother's when he ended his life. As Jack walked me through that morning, I verified that he had talked with his brother. Bryce confirmed that he called his brother to tell him he loved him and there was no hint of what was about to happen. This unknowing weighed so heavily on everyone in the family; I hoped that Jack would help his father understand.
As I saw the morning unfold in the movie that played in my head, it felt to me as if Jack was in some sort of trance and I felt like I was in some type of computer game - a feeling that things were not necessarily in Jack's control. He felt as if he 'had' to take his life, not necessarily that there was something so wrong that he wanted to take his own life. Bryce confirmed that his son was very involved in some of the darker computer games and spent a tremendous amount of time playing them. Bryce had said that he often felt like Jack was 'too into' the computer games and spent a lot of time playing the ones that were violent.
It was sad to feel as if Jack didn't really understand that what he was about to do was permanent. I had the sensation that he felt like a cartoon character, that shooting the gun wouldn't be 'for real.' Unfortunately, it was. Going through the reading brought out a lot of information that Bryce was able to confirm and though it was still very sad and confusing that he chose to use the gun, I had the very real sense that Jack did not mean to hurt himself or his family. His regret in the pain that he had caused his father, step mother and brother was genuine and he wanted to try and help them as best he could. Besides trying to understand why his son would take his own life, the other big concern was whether Jack was okay and who was with him. His son was with his grandmother and was trying to heal the wounds that he had caused his family with his decision to use the gun.
The reading was a very long one, more than two hours. I could see that Bryce was able to resolve some of the feelings that he carried into the reading. Though there was a lot of work and healing to do, which will take years, the first reading was a stepping stone to dealing with the tremendous grief and sadness. By the end of the reading, I could visibly see the difference in Bryce. He came into the reading hunched over, and the sadness in his eyes and face was something I've seen many times before. But, as we moved through the reading and he was able to get information and clarification, there was a sense of relief, if for nothing else, in knowing that his son was in fact okay on the other side.
I did more readings for Jack's family over the first few years of his passing. I could see the changes in the family, some good, some troubling, but knew that Jack watched over them, most especially his dad. Jack came through every reading, including showing me his favorite hangout places in his home when I did a reading there, which the family confirmed. The first reading though was the one that was most important for Bryce. By being able to confirm the circumstances of Jack's death, it helped Bryce deal with one of the worst losses that a parent can endure, that of suicide without even suspecting that there might be a problem. Jack has always been consistent in his explanation - he didn't know. He didn't know that it was 'for real.' He didn't know why he did it exactly. And he didn't know the depths of sadness and heartache his passing would cause. By learning that Jack wasn't some troubled teenager who committed suicide because he was in deep despair was a tremendous relief for Bryce. There will always be self recrimination ( I should have, would have, ...). There will always be the 'why' questions that we ask ourselves when our loved ones pass inexplicably or unexpectedly. What Jack tried to do was alleviate some of the guilt that his father felt by showing him that no one could've stopped what happened that day because Jack himself didn't think it was going to be permanent. Jack showed in every reading that, although he had the same problems that most teenagers have with school and girls, and family, he was a happy teenager. His death, as Jack put it, 'just happened' and there was nothing his father did to make it happen and nothing his father could've done to stop it.
For Bryce and his family, readings have served as a way to check in on Jack and when Bryce is feeling particularly low, a way for Jack to let his dad know that he loves him.
Those Clever Spirits!
A reading is an opportunity. Usually this opportunity is for you or your loved ones on the other side. It can also be an opportunity for your friends or family. And sometimes for others that you have connections with!
When the reading turns into an opportunity for someone else I call them interlopers or opportunists. And I don't mean it in a bad way. The way I see it, those on the other side are very resourceful and given the opportunity to get a message to their loved ones, even if it means interrupting someone else's reading, my experience is that they will take the opportunity if it arises. I bring this up because it has happened enough times that I must acknowledge the cleverness of those on the other side.
Kathy came to me to get a reading on the advice of a mutual friend. She had been interested in psychic phenomena for quite some time and she was even taking a course on psychometry. Her curiosity was piqued when our mutual friend told her that I was a Medium and so she came to see 'what will come through' in the reading. She had stated that she wasn't particularly interested in connecting with a specific person; she just wanted to have the experience of a reading.
Kathy's reading started off 'normal' with her mother coming through as well as one of her brothers. Kathy received strong validation from her loved ones and the reading was going extremely well. Then I heard the name Stella and asked her if she recognized the woman that was coming through who had died of breast cancer. She acknowledged that she had a friend named Estella who had passed about 9 months earlier from breast cancer. Upon the acknowledgement, Estella's energy became very strong and a lot of information came pouring out about her kids who had been left behind, the grief of her husband, his difficulty in wanting to continue living, and she also thanked Kathy for bringing food to the family upon her passing. As the information came forward, Kathy validated it and I thought it was so nice that her friend was coming through to her.
I was a bit shocked then when Kathy's attitude turned more than a little bit sour and when I asked what was wrong she responded, 'Why is this woman interrupting my reading?' I was caught off guard as my experience before had been that people were very happy to hear from their friends. Kathy, however, did not want to have any time spent on her friend. When I responded to her question that her friend came forward because this was an opportunity for her to get messages to her husband and children, Kathy was even more aggravated. "They can get their own reading! This is my reading. Why is she coming through instead of arranging a reading for her family?"
With a mix of sadness at her attitude, and curiosity as to why she wouldn't want to help her friend's family, Kathy basically explained that when she scheduled the reading with me, her intention was that the reading would be 'all about me.' Ummmm.... obviously the other side had other intentions and while the reading had a lot of information for Kathy, it was definitely not all about her. In fact, there was a lot of information regarding the strained relationship between Kathy and her son but as she stated, 'I don't want to deal with that in a reading, that's something to deal with in real life' it became clear to me that Kathy had expectations coming into the reading. Those expectations were being tested, and Kathy didn't like it.
I explained to Kathy that her friend Estella was taking the opportunity to come through and that my job was to bring the messages forward. I would not stop Estella's messages as I strongly believe that the reading occurs in the manner it is intended to. I also explained to Kathy that Estella's hope was that she would pass the messages to her children and husband and that they might then schedule a reading of their own. Estella's interloping was filled with love for Kathy because of her support for Estella's family at the time of her passing, and because Estella saw a way to get messages to her family. She had every intention of giving me as much information as she could because she was concerned about her husband and her own children. The opportunity that Estella saw was to come through at Kathy's reading. It took quite a lot of time to help Kathy understand Estella's intentions. She reluctantly agreed to let me give all of the messages and then we were able to return to information for Kathy.
Kathy's desire to try and control what information came through, and who could come through, made the reading a bit difficult. It was however, the determination of Estella to make herself known and ask for messages to be passed to her family, that made the reading interesting.
After the reading, Kathy called Estella's husband and he subsequently scheduled a reading for himself and his three children. While it was awkward when he called me and said, 'Kathy said my wife interfered with her reading and she said I should call and get my own reading', it was a great joy when I met Estella's husband and three children and was able to provide the messages first hand from Estella. She brought forward her love of Christmas and showed twinkling lights everywhere, baking with grandchildren, and sitting out on the back porch for relaxation. She talked about her husband's deep grief and the need for him to 'hold it together for the children and grandchildren' and it touched my heart when he told me he wanted to die every day that he woke up without her.
It was interesting and sometimes difficult to work with Kathy, given her attitude towards Estella and over her own broken relationships with those she did love. In her mind, it was supposed to be all about her, not about others or uncomfortable situations.
While Kathy was put off with Estella's interloping, Estella's family was very grateful. With the information that Kathy provided, Estella's children were interested in coming to the reading with their dad. They wanted to know their mom was okay. The resulting successful reading with the family was a terrific testament to the power of those on the other side to make things happen and get the messages through to their loved ones.
Expectations and Readings
A reading is a synchronization between all of the parties - you, the Medium, and our loved ones who choose to come through. There are several things you can do in order to have a successful reading. The more open and cooperative everyone is, the easier and more fulfilling a reading will be. There are also some things that can cause a reading to be difficult, stall out, or be ineffective.
One of the biggest pitfalls is when a client comes to the reading with expectations. I recently received an email from a grieving mother who had received readings from two other Mediums. She told me that while one of the Mediums was very good, another Medium did not leave her fulfilled. And even though one of the Mediums had provided validation, she stated she wanted even more than she had received. This mother wanted to try another Medium but she wanted a guarantee that I would be able to connect with her daughter and that she would leave the reading fulfilled.
Ethically, a Medium should not promise any outcome for a reading. The messages that come through during a reading are not under the Medium's control, rather they are determined by our loved ones on the other side. I am the Bridge to the Other Side, and can only convey what is brought forward. A Medium also cannot choose who will come through as that too is up to those on the other side.
I passed on the opportunity to do that reading. I have conducted readings in the past with these types of expectations. I could tell that this client's expectations would make the reading difficult at best. These types of expectations and demands make my job harder and it makes it more difficult for those on the other side that are trying to communicate. Have you ever had the experience of trying too hard for a goal and you can never quite reach it? But, when you are discouraged and then relax ... the goal is attained. This is a similar phenomenon.
When a client sits with their arms crossed expecting their mother, but Uncle Joe turns up, it means that Uncle Joe has something to say. Let the process take place; listening to Uncle Joe might make a huge difference in your life. From my side of the work, if I try to shut Uncle Joe out to get to the mother, it usually just shuts the stream of information down. If Uncle Joe wants to be heard, I let him come through and know that it's for a reason. It doesn't mean your mother won't come through later during the reading, it simply means that there are other people who have something to say.
When scheduling a reading, you should leave your expectations at the door and welcome the people who come through and honor them by listening to the messages they bring forward. You sometimes will be delighted to hear from old friends, long lost relatives, and most often you will indeed hear from that specific person that you most want to communicate with.
The goal of a reading is to hear from our loved ones. By leaving yourself open to all messages from the other side ... peace, love, and an open heart are available to you.